False Advertising

Ok, anyone who truly knows me, knows I think too much. With the divorce rate being 50% or higher I just wonder why people are fake when in a relationship. I mean when they are dating, he/she likes everything you do, is exciting, seems a dream....but once the I do's happen, things change. Suddenly they become the most boring person in the world. They let themselves go physically and don't seem to have the things in common with you that they claimed to before. This to me is FALSE ADVERTISING. Why trap someone because they think you are someone else and then when you get them you let the REAL you come out? Everyone I know, or well almost everyone that is married has said this to me. "Oh, after we got married my partner changed". People don't just change like that. The fact of the matter is they were "acting" the whole time to snare you and once they did, then they showed their true self. I loathe when women use their kids as an excuse not to have sex with their husband, or if either partner says they are too tired. UGH! They are too tired for sex but not too tired to shovel tons of food in their face or do the things they WANT to do. People should just be true to themselves, be real. Don't mold themselves to be the "perfect" catch because the mold breaks, the real you oozes out and the person you fooled is miserable. I am not saying compromise is wrong. I am just saying things you are truly passionate about, do not compromise those things because it just builds resentment in both parties. I always get accused of being unfiltered, saying too much etc. Well, this is me, I say what I think and am NOT a false advertiser.

Boy eating treadmill

A few weeks ago, my son was on the treadmill for some exercise. He loves to push himself and ended up losing his footing because he had the speed too high. Instead of letting go and just getting maybe a few bruises, he decided to hold on. He managed to pull himself up and turn off the machine, however in the process, his pants had fell! He came to inform me of what had happened. Skin off his bony little shoulders had been rubbed off, as well as a HUGE patch off his bum cheek. He was crying and laughing at the same time, as was I. I hate to ever see him hurt, but at the same time, just due to where on him and how it had happened, it was hilarious. Later, when he showered he yelled out his bum was "sizzled". He was sore for about a week, but it will always make us giggle and defo be something to tell his kids one day!

Small Town Life...

So, in this "metropolis" I live in there are only 2 major stores to shop at. One is Wal Mart, which I loathe. So yeah, I was tired and it was closest, so me and my son ran in to get some Tide. This cow was blocking the isle with her cart and then bent over at the waist sticking her FAT ass out so the entire way was blocked! After I said excuse me literally 5 times she finally moved, but before she did, she snatched up her purse like me or my child was going to steal it. I was insulted and infuriated. If I EVER was going to steal it would sure as hell be from a more high class joint than Wal Mart. Not to mention she was fat, old and musty...why is it people in those discount stores think it is ok to go out unbathed anyways? EWW!

I don't understand, surprising reaction.

So last night, as I am sure many of you who followed #liftupellie, I kept checking my Twitter timeline for updates on this precious little girl. Anyone who knows me, knows I am not typically a fan of other people's kids. This little girl's courage and spirit genuinely touched me. I admit I don't understand (and never will) her family's belief in a God who would allow this to happen to an innocent child. I read where her poor mother said her faith had been tested, where just this very morning she was praying to her god that Ellie's sister not wake before Ellie finally let go of her life. Well, Ellie's twin sister did wake before her twin left this life. When I read that she had finally died, I wept. I wept for her, for her sister, her family. Very out of character for me, but has also erupted so much emotion in me. I told my own kids of this sweet girl's passing. I told them to be thankful every day that they are healthy and trivial things like a bad hair day or burning the toast isn't a big deal. I stand firm in my belief that there is no god. If there was innocent children wouldn't suffer as Ellie did. I wish her family all the best and I guess I do hope their faith gives them comfort. I don't get it, but I wish them peace. They deserve it.

Dari Gold

So, we are on hols and my son has to wee. I told him I didn't want to stop, just go in a bottle. He was fine with that. So, he did, and a few seconds later he says "Look, I made Dari Gold, infused with vitamin D". This is funny in itself, but extra hilarious because we sometimes call him Dari for short, and also because DariGold is a major dairy and juice provider on the West Coast. After that, every DariGold truck we passed, we all cracked up laughing. His sister complained she needed a restroom stop and he says "Ya wish ya had a penis now, don't you?" Then he proceeds to tell her she DID have one but it was removed at birth. Kids, Gotta love them! LOL

Marble-ator

I am an aspiring writer, though cannot keep my thought on the same subject long enough to get anywhere with it. Hence, the name for this blog, my unfiltered mind. My son has always liked things that were a bit silly and inappropriate for the masses, but with him in mind, I came up with an idea for a children's book. It would be based around my adorable little bunny Liam. Liam is small. He is a Lionhead rabbit and was the runt. He weighs 3 pounds. I have a house full of cats who weigh anywhere from 5 to 11 pounds. He loves to play with them and holds his own. My cats are Persians, they really have no hunting instinct so they bat at him but don't claw. I thought wouldn't it be funny if his secret weapon was shooting his poo, (marbles) out of his bum. lol Just the thought makes me laugh. How funny would it be for him to turn around when the cats are chasing him, point and aim and shoot them with his marbles! The world has come up with all sorts of odd "Super" Heroes, so Hey, why not My Liam, The Marble-ator.

Shop towel sexy!

So yesterday I was speaking of my friend and his escapades. He, as of tomorrow gets to play happy families because his parents are coming in from Holland. He doesn't want them to know his marriage is a sham. Anyways....on one of his trips to his local pub he was feeling frisky and was dancing and groping anyone with a pulse. This went on for some hours until he grew bored and decided to go home. He went out, got into his minivan, yes, I said minivan, and proceeded to leave the car park and head home. It was raining and he saw a "damsel in distress". She was walking in the rain. Being the "gentleman" that he is, he offered her a ride home. She accepted, and according to him, in gratefulness started to grope him as he drove. They ended up on a quiet side street and proceeded to have sex. He even talked her into "anal play". My question was HOW did they clean up after all this.? He replied that he had a bundle of clean shop towels in the back of the minivan. Can we say ewww?!!! In a time of AIDS, STD's, not to mention just overall psycho people, HOW would anyone allow this to happen. NASTY! However, it is entertaining and I do get amused when he tells me of his antics, hence me sharing them..